This is a year so full of emotion.. That I don’t know where to start..
A year filled with so much hurt…
But…. I’m one lucky girl…
I freed myself from a very unhappy relationship..!! Not sure why I hanged around for so long.
People got retrenched @ my work place… The ones who stayed behind are cursed with slavery…
My son went through a terrible time. Was married to a very abusive woman. He is still suffering from this… And feeling that God left him… But God didn’t left and forgot about him..He gave him…his dream job!!
Many times In my life I wished that I can be a hardless person…(the secret for survival…right??) The harder I try with this one…the less I succeed.
I’m still one of his spoiled children..yes I am!! I’m blessed with a new relationship..o yea!! We love deeply.. We fight with each other… We cry together… We make passionate Love.. And we both now 2015 is going 2b OUR year!! My wish for everyone reading this is that your Live will be overflowed with much Love…Happiness..Joy…Good Health…and Blessings in Every way in 2015!!
Is it an art or a curse
A blessing for something better or a demonic spell…
I reject the ones who beg for my love…
And please the ones who don’t appreciate…
I give the wrong advice…
And you get the ones who have the answer to Everything??
Yet they’d arn’t perfect too…
May wisdom follow me and the ones
Who’s so very close to my heart and soul…
I Mourn the earth’s hurt,
I Mourn the hurt of the people I love…
Because with no reason it seems to get more….!?
Call to me, and I will answer you, and will show you great things, and difficult, which you don’t know. – Jeremiah 33:3 (WEB)
The sun will shine tomorrow or the day after
The rain will somehow end
This is not only a promise
It’s just the way it is, I know
Bad times never last forever, no no
The tough times they never stay
The heartache and the let down
Will soon go away, I know
In times of deep sadness
The pain is all too real
And it’s hard to believe
That we have to live this, I know
The dark clouds that hang above you and me
Will eventually move on
And the storms that dance around
Will soon be gone, I know
Stay strong and keep in mind
That again, the sun will shine!!
That I know!!
On Monday night the 13th of January Frans ( my fiance) got severe chest pain,
On Wednesday night the 15th again…then it’s off to the GP.
Some test shown something is wrong with his heart…;-(
The dr sent him for more test…
Monday the 20th he booked in hospital for an Angiogram ( a process that provides your dr with precise information about your heart condition, allow much more individual treatment)
The heart specialist immediately re comment a heart bypass – in Frans case they need to bypass 5 of the 6 arteries to his heart..;-~(
The purpose of the ” bypass” operation is to supply blood to the part of the heart, which does not have an adequate blood supply – quoted from Cardio rehabilition of Wilgers Hospital
(a Heart bypass operation can last anything from 5 hours and more…Frans was in theatre for hours I can’t remember..)
They “harvest” veins from your legs and then use it to replace the “faulty” ones to your heart.
An incision was made in his breastbone in order to attach the grafts, the heart is stopped and placed on a bypass pump..)
He had so many drains in his body…drips that I stopped counting.
This is a very high risk procedure…and people said worth at the end.
In Frans case the main reason for his blocked arteries was SMOKING – also the biggest cause of heart disease.
There are other reasons for this condition as well: Hypertension, high blood cholesterol, Overweight, Lack of exercise and of course
the word stress.
We have a healthy life style…he is fit and very active…yes there is stress..but still not the main reason for his.
He is in his second week of recovery and is on a 8 week recovery program.
Her name is “Zoey” means “Life” in Greek.
The Urban dictionary describes her name as “Sweat Heart”
The name was popular among early Christians as a way of showing their hopes for eternal life.
In our Household she is our little princess and priceless!
She gives love unconditionally…
She is nothing much than fur..
And two big round yellow eyes..
She runs around in rings
See invisible things…
Sunday is the one day that you need to gather yourself together, and the luminous universe and nature opens.
Lose yourself, and find yourself, and become what you already are.”
That is what Sunday’s are for..
Capricorn and Unicorns a fairy tale story
in my dreams where fairies dancing in my little flower garden
Different colors of purple, pink and white as fairy glow
falls and twinkle in the midnight twilight.
Their tiny see through wings, flicker in the moonlight
they fall on their back and start giggling..
This is real magic, as they listening to the songs of the frogs
They delighted me, and I know their story just began….
New International Version (NIV)
14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am.[a] This is what you are to say to the Israelite s”
This name was so Holy to the Jews that they not even wanted to express it!
King James Version (KJV)
7 Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
I took a chance and I believed,
A promise is a very special thing
A promise can be empty if it’s just a bunch of scattered words,
I can only watch and see what time hold for me,
and I wish you never fail me.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, the clock is moving..
Hope is there for those who wait and see…
My words are my prayers..
My hopes are my promises!
A year with much sweet as sour…
A lot of lessons, mistakes, tears which are covered by happy smiles…
My engagement – one of the highlights…Now I know we will always be together…
When my son got his final results – meaning he got the papers – finally his Bsc Degree….
a Very painful situation when I realised that the girl he loves…is not my choice for him…
But slowly I come to closure with the situation that I have to accept her if I don’t want to lose my son…
This keep me on my knees….close to God at this stage…
My wishes for 2013 are that we all experience only good!!!
No pain…no sorrow or sadness…!!
Perhaps that is not possible…but I want this for everyone reading this…including myself…!
Thank you everyone who are following me for many years…or months…;-)
I’m always so super excited to approve a comment…yea ….yea!!
So with this…I’m glad to say GOOD- BYE to 2012, and a very welcome to 2013!!
My Christmas wish for YOU is one of PEACE, HOPE, JOY AND LOVE…
May YOU count your blessings one by one…
May YOU have a Merry Christmas!
Spread your wings far and wide little dragon
After you left the cave
The air is thick with smoke…
From your fire….
Dragons did live in the old days
Like Fairies, dwarfs and elves
See the shadow of the dragon when he leaves the cage
They fly where they like…
I want to be a green dragon
Waiting for a miracle every night
The dragon slayers want me dead…
That is their desire…
Flying high and flying strong
No one will catch me..I light my fire…
They all think they will succeed
But I’m a flying Dragon!
I Wish that I can hold you
one more time before you grow.
And tell you that I love you, as I do every day.
so that you will always remember that.
Please let me tie your shoe, put on your warm jacket,
Comb your beautiful long hair, one last time…
And you will remember the love I’ve shown.
Perhaps then just one day you care for me too
When I need that
I wanted desperately to be a part of your life.
In everything you do.
Please let me help you in difficult times
I miss the bedtime stories
The Sunday plays in the park, all the movies we watched together.
And when you become the greatest Scientist or biggest Hollywood actor
There will be no soul more proud than me!
Too quick you grew up, and in my heart I still want you to
Be just my boy!
Love you more than Life itself!
Not in a good space at the moment in my life….
Dancing demands a freed person,
Dancing demands a whole person,
Dance is a transformation of space, time, and every day people,
I hear the applause.
I perform and do my best.
The bright lights shining on you from above.
You are a performer.
A dancer feels like no other
The vibrant rhythm of life…
I try to tell a story….
“Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair…”
- Susan Polis Schutz
Having the same dream…
I try to make sense out of it, but yet it’s a blank space in my mind…
Meaningless in daylight..but not at nighttime…?
I believe in dreams, good or bad….and know that there’s a message in that…?!
The truth is ….
* I sometimes cry over stupid things like a truck full of cattle going to abattoirs;
* I sometimes hurt when I see all the questions in a dog’s eyes when his tied up against a tree;
* I sometimes miss someone I never ever again be able to hold in my arms;
* I sometimes wish I could just hit the road and disappeared for a few days;
* I sometimes wish I was a fairy that I can swing my magic stick and all the pain and suffering of the people I love to go away;
* I sometimes laugh loud to myself because I if not I most probably will cry;
* I sometimes get angry with people and things that come my way to test me
* I sometimes get embarrassed when I see a mother her (inquisitive) 4-year denigrate and swearing in the supermarket;
* I sometimes make mistakes and then for a moment or two think it’s the end of the world;
* I sometimes make wrong decisions especially when I’m emotional;
* I sometimes take too long to say sorry because my ego will take over;
* I sometimes make conclusions because it’s so easy for me to believe;
* I am sometimes disappointed in my impossible expectations;
* I sometimes struggle to forgive someone, especially if they are trespassing upon a sensitive area (and they know half the time not even like why);
* I sometimes stumble and fall but always get up and continue fighting for my place in the sun;
* I have an opinion and as long as I have, you will hear from me – good or bad;
* I’m completely honest because I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m not afraid to be myself in a (sometimes) harsh world;
* I am a dreamer and dreaming so much that I’m not sure if a lifetime will be enough to let all that be;
* That I sometimes thought I was “super woman” because I always want to solve everyone’s problems;
* I may have more questions than answers about life;
* I sometimes think too much and even have fewer answers;
* I believe in God and that He has a master plan for everything that happened in my life;
* I also believe that sometimes He work “overtime” because I have taken the wrong path;
* I believe in romantic love either jelly-in-the-knees-love, parental love, selfless, caring love for family and friends, respect, love for other living beings and the planet, or unconditional love for animals and children…
This is who I am!
Die waarheid is
* dat ek soms huil oor simpel goed soos ‘n trok vol beeste oppad slagpale toe;
* dat ek soms seerkry as ek al die vrae sien in ‘n hond se ogies daar waar hy vasgemaak staan teen die boom;
* dat ek soms verlang na iemand wat ek nooit ooit weer sal kan vashou in my arms nie;
* dat ek soms wens ek kan net die pad vat en verdwyn vir ‘n paar dae;
* dat ek soms wens ek is ‘n feetjie wat my towerstaffie kan swaai sodat al die pyn en leiding van mense vir wie ek lief is kan weggaan;
* dat ek soms hardop uitbars van die lag vir myself anders gaan ek waarskynlik huil;
* dat ek soms kwaad word vir mense en gebeure wat oor my pad kom om my te toets;
* dat ek soms skaam kry as ek sien hoe ‘n ma haar (nuuskierige) 4-jarige afkraak en skel in die supermark;
* dat ek soms foute begaan en dan vir ‘n oomblik of twee dink dis die einde van die wêreld;
* dat ek soms verkeerde besluite neem veral as ek emosioneel is;
* dat ek soms te lank vat om jammer te sê want my ego wil alewig indruk en oorneem;
* dat ek soms afleidings maak want dis so maklik om myself te glo;
* dat ek soms teleurgesteld is in my (soms) onmoontlike verwagtinge;
* dat ek soms sukkel om iemand te vergewe veral as hulle oortree het op ‘n area wat vir my sensitief is (en dan weet hulle helfte van die tyd nie eers daarvan nie);
* dat ek soms struikel en val maar altyd weer opstaan en voortbaklei vir my plekkie in die son;
* dat ek ‘n opinie het en solank ek dit het, gaan ek van my laat hoor – goed of sleg;
* dat ek soms heeltemal te eerlik is want ek dra my hart op my mou en is nie bang om myself te wees in ‘n (soms) ongenaakbare wêreld nie;
* dat ek ‘n dromer is en soveel drome het dat ek nie seker is of een leeftyd genoeg sal wees om alles waar te laat word nie;
* dat ek my soms verbeel ek is “superwoman” want ek wil alewig almal se probleme oplos, help waar ek kan en almal se sorge vir hulle dra;
* dat ek soms meer vrae as antwoorde het oor die lewe;
* dat ek soms te veel dink en dan nog minder antwoorde het;
* dat ek glo in God en dat Hy ‘n meesterplan het vir alles wat in my lewe gebeur;
* dat ek ook glo dat ek Hom soms “oortyd” laat werk omrede ek ‘n verkeerde paadjie vat en Hy dan Sy plan vir my moet aanpas sodat ek eindelik kan uitkom waar ek moet en wees wie ek bedoel is om te wees ;
* dat ek glo in Liefde hetsy romantiese lam-in-die-knieë-liefde, onbaatsugtige ouerliefde, omgee-liefde vir my familie en vriende, respek-liefde vir ander lewende wesens en die planeet, of onvoorwaardelike liefde van diere-kinders …